i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm both gender and math confused
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
