considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
