why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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