Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
