you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
