he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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