My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
