he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize