the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
