I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
