She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
