Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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