She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
