Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
