It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
