smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize