vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
