My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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