Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
