I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
