they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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