So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
