I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
This couple is walking their pig around campus
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
