bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
