im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The air taste purple.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
