Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
