As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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