I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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