Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
