weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
