Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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