ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
