she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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