Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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