You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
