I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
