Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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