I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
