watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
