if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
