Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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