It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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