The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm too high and old for this...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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