Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
