If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
