I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
