Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
