Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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