if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
