this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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