Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
