he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
