i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize