"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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