i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Acid is not a monday night drug
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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