I can text with my tongue
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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