two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
