You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
