Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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