And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and she was petting her beer can
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
