I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
