she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
