when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
