im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
