I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
