Barsexuality is the new black.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
