Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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