whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think people are normalizing furries
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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