Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
