who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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